January 2022     Edition 161
Wants and the Emotional ROI

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s something to think about

if you
ve made a New Year's resolution or if you just have a list of things you want to do or accomplish.



s first define a few terms:


This is something that is indispensable, nonnegotiable, it must happen.   It
s necessary to breathe, drink, eat, pay your rent or mortgage, shelter, sleep, take care of your little kids, etc.   It must happen, and while you can sometimes put it off for a little while, eventually you Need to do it. 



This is something you desire to do, but don
t Need to do it.  Buying another shirt, losing a little weight, seeing the latest Spiderman movie, etc.  It
s desirable, but you can live without it. 


Perceived Need

This is really a want that is so desirable that it prevents you from functioning normally, even though you really can.   Some people think they
to see the latest Spiderman movie.



This is the ability to continue, despite obstacles in your way.  If you
re on an exercise regime, it might really hurt to do those last 10 sit-ups, but it
s your determination that gets that


Emotional ROI

This is a little mental calculation your brain does when you
re on the path to achieving a want, but there are obstacles in front of you.  You mentally determine if the effort to overcome the obstacle is worth the reward of achieving the want. (Return on Investment).   If so, it
s that determination to get the return on that investment that makes it happen.


Usually, a New Year

s resolution is about getting something done

.  Lose weight, work out more, be nice to others, save some money, go to some exotic island, be a better cook, etc.   These are generally Wants.   My New Year
s resolutions were never about Need.  If it was necessary, I did it and didn
t have to make a resolution to do it because it was necessary.   So most resolutions are all about things someone Wants to occur. 


Want and Determination are linked

.  When there is an obstacle in front of achieving a want, you have to overcome the obstacle.   Obstacles make the achievement of a Want more difficult.  Sometimes much more difficult.  So now you must weigh the effort of getting through the obstacles against the reward of achieving the Want.  You do that Emotional ROI Calculation.  Other obstacles are encountered, and now you have a whole bunch of obstacles to get through to achieve the Want.  Again, you do that Emotional ROI Calculation.  At this point you might just say,
hey, if it was easy, then sure, but it
s now too difficult, so forget it, it was just a want anyway
.   Or you might say, the ROI is worth it, and it
s your determination that supports your effort to continue.


What drives Determination is a vision of the future

.   You want a certain future, and even though there are obstacles in front of you, it
s your determination for achieving that future that supports you moving forward.


Takeaway : 

The next time you make a resolution, or just put something down on your to-do list that is a Want, think a little bit about what obstacles you might encounter.  Paint a picture (a vision) of what the future might look like when you achieve that want.   Then do the Emotional ROI calculation; i.e. is the value of that future worth the effort to push through those obstacles.   If it is, remind yourself of that ROI when those obstacles are encountered so you can muster up the determination to push on.




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