June 2026     Edition 191
Five Words to Avoid When Starting a Conversation
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"Can I show you something?"


I've found that when someone uses this expression, there is usually nothing good that follows.

This is akin to the famous Apollo 13 message from Jack Swigert (Command Module Pilot): "Okay, Houston, we've had a problem here."


When someone says "Can I show you something?",

my mind immediately goes into an OMG moment — what's wrong now?


What this really translates to is:
lack of information creates a void,
and that void is often filled with the worst. Of course, sometimes the void produces a really great outcome — a very pleasant surprise. But even the most optimistic among us struggle when someone says "Can I show you something?" and their body language is screaming "this is not one of the happy moments."


  • The Contractor:

    You're undergoing a remodel and one of the contractors comes to you and says, "Can I show you something?" OMG — there's usually nothing good that follows. A leak, a crack, a wire or pipe not up to code. Whatever it is, it will cost more money, take more time, and change the plan.


  • Your Significant Other:

    "Can I show you something?" OMG — what could this be? A suspicious mole? Something leaking? Some rodent that's taken up residence?


  • The Phone Call Variation:

    Your young adult kid actually calls you on your cell — doesn't text, actually calls. OMG. The only reason they ever call is because something has happened. Car accident, credit card stolen, need money — who knows. How come they can't call just to say hi?


  • The Mechanic:

    You drop your car off for a routine oil change and get the callback: "Before you come pick it up, can I show you something?" OMG — it was supposed to be a $49 oil change.


  • Coming Attractions:

    Your customer sends you a message: "Can we meet about something?" OMG — they're canceling the account, your main contact is leaving, they want to renegotiate. Or a friend texts: "I need to talk to you about something but It's too hard to explain over text — can we meet next week?" And now you sit with that for seven days. Stay tuned for the next episode of who knows what.



The Solution:

Don't beat around the bush. Don't let my imagination run wild. Just come out and say it:

  • "The upstairs toilet is leaking."


  • "My credit card was stolen."


  • "Your brake pads are scratching the rotors need to be replaced — here's the cost."


  • "I'm leaving the company and want to introduce you to your new contact."


  • Via Text: “Hi Dad, My landlord is raising the rent. I’d like to call you about a strategy to negotiate the rate”


  • "Houston, we've had a Main B Bus undervolt."



Don't create the void.

Give people the information, the situation, the reality — before their imagination fills the gap.

The Exception: The void can work in your favor if you deliver "Can I show you something?" with a huge smile and genuine excitement. Context and body language flip the script entirely. “Guess what I got on my final exam!”


The Takeaway:

People fill an information void with their imagination. If you want them imagining good things, bring the energy. If you're delivering bad news, skip the preamble — give them the facts upfront so they can focus on the reality, not the story they invented while waiting to hear it.  Don't create the void.

 

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